Song Lyrics at 2am

Hope faith and love.
They hold me together.
A prayer lifted high holds me a lil tighter
Just you and me God in this lil place.
Just you and me God
Lord fill this empty place

Dark and twisted paths
Leading through the night
Its undeniable
I'm lost with no sign of light
If only you were here
You'd know just where to go
Lead me to find safety where you are

Hope faith and love
They hold me together
A prayer lifted high holds me a lil tighter
Just you and me God in this great big place
Just you and me God
Lord fill this empty space

Running the the woods
Stumbling cross the roots
yearning for break of day, still hours away.
Falling on my knees looking up I cry out.
Where are you God of mine, please come and show the way.

Hope faith and love.
They hold me together.
A prayer lifted high holds me a lil tighter.
Just you and me God in this big ol world
Just you and me God Lord fill this broken girl
I'm running in circles.
Looking for you're face.
Stumbling through this darkness feeling out of place.
This isn't where I belong God.
This I know for sure.
Meet me here dear father.
Come to your little girl.
Its then I hear these words said, in that still small, quiet voice.
I'm right there with you daughter, can't you hear my voice.
Look around you and you'll see.
I never left your side.
I've been right there with you child.
I'll always be your guide.

Hope faith and love.
They hold me together.
A prayer lifted high holds me a lil tighter.
Just you and me God Just you and me God
Just you and me

As Bright as the Sun

It has been a good while since I have posted. Too long. I guess life has just taken me away from writing for a while. Which is never a good thing for me. But in recent history things has turned. Depression and anxiety and PTSD, they suck guys. The eat you up from the inside out and eventually you go into meltdown. Eventually you get to the point where you just can't handle it anymore. You can't pretend to smile or laugh, you can't enjoy the things you love, you just want to hide and sleep. At least that is how it is for me. Last night at a bible study about joy the last month or so kind of just exploded. Well not even so much the last month. More like the last 2 1/2 months. It is crazy to believe all the things that have happened. I finally put down the blade for good. No more cutting. I opened up about things I have never talked about before. I began healing. Let me tell ya folks, healing hurts. Healing hurts a lot. But it is worth it. It is worth it to give up all the hurts and anger and scary thoughts and hard nights to God and let him work. At a healing service this past Sunday God showed me a whole lot about who I am and what he sees in me and what he has for me in the future and it is not depression, anxiety or bouts of PTSD. It is not being scared of thunderstorms, jumping at a car door slamming, or crying because I don't know how else to handle the things I feel. Being a bit blunt today but this is reality guys and gals. This is my life. But it wont be my life forever. God is in the healing business. He is. And he is, in his timing, healing and working in my heart. At about 3am I came to the conclusion that there are an awful lot of people who love me, who are fighting with me and who are sick of seeing me hurt like I have been and if that is how they feel I can only imagine how much is pains God to see me like this. So here's to healing. To peace, love and joy. Here is to fresh starts, new life and a future as bright as the sun.

Dreams Coming True

Just about two years ago God placed a dream on my heart. Something I knew I couldn't ignore but something I couldn't see ever happening. He gave me a heart for children long before I had ever grown up. But last July he gave me a heart for a very special group of children. Children who had been used and abused and treated like garbage. He placed these kids on my heart and he told me to do something. To walk with him. Be faithful and reach these kids. Honestly... I laughed. I thought God was insane. I said no way. I said it was impossible. I thought to myself "How can I ever possibly reach out to these kids. Bring them hope, love, joy and love when I am so broken and so hurting and so hopeless myself?". Two years later the pieces are falling into place. I knew I didn't have the skills to go as big as God had told me I needed to but I also knew that if I took a step of faith and started small God would do the hard work. But still I did not know what that looked like. What was that first step? How was this going to happen. It started with just small posts once in a while. A post about human trafficking, a post about healing, a post about God's goodness and with each post God grew my audience just a little. Now as I dream big and pray about the future I can see God working in other ways. Opening other doors to bigger platforms and better opportunities. I can see where God is placing people in my life who inspire and push me forward. I can see him growing and stretching me to become the woman he created.  I can see the dream he placed in my heart starting to play out. Its coming together before my very eyes. Watch out folks. Here I am. Take this life as a sacrifice God. Use me, lead me, guide me, love me. Have your way with my life.  Lord help me to help these kids. That's been my prayer for two years now and finally it's happening. God is moving. He is doing something so much bigger than me. I only hope I make him proud to call me his daughter. In words and in deeds. Lord let my life honor you. And some day, let me be everything you have called me to be.