Victory

I have fought this fight

I have been battling far to long

I have seen all I know and love fade away

Friends turned their backs on me

Family pushed me away

An outcast in my own home

A stranger to all those I once loved

I have faced many demons

I have seen many tragedies trials and hurts

I have faced addiction

I struggled through alcoholism

I have been used and abused by people I once trusted

People I trusted with my life

Disappointment and failure a daily reality

Until the day it all changed

Until the day that voice rang clear

 "I carried you through the each and every struggle

You have given your life to me, All of your life

I will gladly take every struggle trial and fight

 You have been set free!

Don't you see?

You were never alone!

This you have heard before

I have told you before

I bear your burdens

They are mine not yours

You won those battles not by your power but by mine

Each time you lifted your voice

Each prayer prayed, every single one

Each time you looked for my hand I was there

When you stumbled and fell

When you were weak and unsure

When you turned away

When you were unlovable

I was there

You will struggle from time to time

It is a part of this life

But you are never alone

You will never be alone

I am with you and you are mine"



The Night Before Hunting Season

I apologize ahead of time to anyone who doesn't approve of hunting!

 

'Twas the night before hunting season and all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, not even the dogs

The rifles were hung in the gun racks with care

In hopes of big bucks soon would be near

 

The hunters were nestled all snug in their in their beds

while visions of tree-bark danced in their heads

Dad in his flannel and I in my sweats

had just settled down for our last good nights rest

 

when out on the lawn there arose such a clatter

we sprang from our beds to see what the matter

down the stairs we ran, a flash and a dash

to the front yard to inspect the very loud crash

 

the moon on the breast of a new fallen snow

gave light to the tracks that all hunters must know

when what to our wondering eyes should appear

hoof-prints in the snow the fluffy tail of a deer

 

with a silent look to his side my dad gives a look

to the house I run, a rifle a took

fast as my feet would carry

from my mission I would not terry

 

as dry leaves before a hurricane fly

when they meet with an obstacle mount to the sky

so through the house I ran

till a gun was placed in my dads hand

 

then with a start a heard that sound ring

the clock chimes twelve, time for the hunting to begin

through the woods we tracked all the night long

till the break of day and the morning birds song

 

our eyes twinkled the light on the snow

our cheeks like cherries and noses like a rose

after the exchange of one glance

we both began to dance

 

he spoke not a word but went straight to his work like a jolly old elf

I laughed at my dad in spite of myself

with the wink of his eye and swift knife-work he claimed

"Happy Hunting Season to All and to all Good Game!"



Blessings and Apologies

I have made so many incredible friends since I have come to school and in many ways I have grown and changed. especially since Expedition but I also realized that there are some things that need to be taken care of and here and now is the way I plan on doing that. Publicly so that nothing is hidden. I have grown very close to an awesome God. I have been thinking about all hes brought me through and this is what I have to say now looking back. I am just not right without him and I know that. he defines me. I cant picture me without him and I know I have sooo much to learn, I want someone to teach me all of that, someone to disciple me in that way, but I know I'm headed in the right direction. On the other hand none of this can go anywhere further until I truly finish what God started working on first two years ago and then again at Expedition.

To all those at Granville Assembly of God: I am truly sorry for the hurtful words and actions of the past. I know that I was in the wrong and although it was what, three years ago now I feel the need to apologize and ask forgiveness. It was a different time and a different place now. Please know that I am not the same person I used to be. So much has changed and the closer I come to God the more I see just how hurtful and really hateful what I did was. I am very Sorry...

To those at IVCF: Yes as much as God had changed me before I got here he has changed me a 1000 times more since being around you all. All that I have faced since being here has been legit, It has not been fun or easy but my past is not what you think. Yes i struggled with addiction after years of abuse but you don't have the whole story. I was also addicted to lying and that was far more serious than any other problem I had. Know what you know about me is true but I feel wrong by not giving you the whole story and by not being real about the extent to which different things played a role in me getting to where I am.

To those at Adirondack Experience and those I know mostly from my sophomore and junior years of highschool: Well you really don't know me at all. Pretty much all you know about me is untrue. I hope that you can find it in your hearts to forgive me but I also understand I seriously broke your trust and that what I said and what I have done warrants you never speaking to me again. My biggest fear has been that by apologizing to you I would end anything we have left and I didn't want to do that. At this point honesty is more important than that and you all deserve to know the truth and should you by some shred of grace still want to know the real me you will see just how different I am than the person that I created way back when.

I am soo sorry to all of you. All of you have something to be angry about. Some more than others but this is my way of saying openly and publicly so that nothing can be disputed that I am truly sorry for all my ways of the past. The hurtful sinful ways of the past.  I hope you can all find it in your hearts to forgive, start new and move on. I know some of you already have but to those who have not, know this isn't easy and that I really am sorry for hurting you all like I have.