Friday, June 28, 2013

Drifting

They say just be yourself
Be who you are
No need to be someone else
So they say
But what happens
When you don't know
Who that is
Who you are
What you like
What you dislike
Then what?
Drifting aimlessly
Looking for something
To anchor me down
Looking for who I am
Looking for home
And finding it
In the one and only
Jesus

Good

Friends like family
Trusting new people
Pushing my limits
Change
It's different
It's good
It's going to be okay
I am in the right place
At the right time
A time for learning
A time for growing
A time for healing
God is good
God is faithful
God loves me, yes me
Very, very much
Thankful for all he has done
Thankful for his love
Thankful for his grace and mercy
Thankful for him and the change he brings
It's going to be
GOOD!

Mee

I
Am a writer
It's what i do
What he wants to do with that
I do not yet know
But
I am learning to trust him
I am learning how to follow him
I don't know a lot about a lot
But I do know
He has given me hands to write
A passion I cannot ignore
He loves me and
He wants me to see myself
The way he sees me

Country Life

Cool morning air
The stillness of dawn
Gives way to
Chirping birds
Crisp country air
Filling the back porch
Cars in the distance
But right here
In front of me
Is an answer to my prayers
Life in the country
Friends like family
Fun is the sun
Quiet times in the still darkness
All is well
Blessed beyond measure
A thankful heart

Monday, June 17, 2013

Growing Pains

Day by Day
Minute by Minute 
Hour by hour
Down to the wire
I mean really
Running out of time
God where are you?
What are you doing?
How are you going to make this happen?
I trust you God
You are faithful.
You always provide.
I can see you working
I know you are up to something
Stretching and growing me
It will all be okay
Right Daddy?

Sunday, June 16, 2013

The Man I Call My Dad

   I will never forget it. The first time I heard him introduce me as his daughter. I had known him all my life. He was my Mom's husband. He was the guy that bossed me around and showed up to all my events. He was always good to me but that day he became something so much more. That day he became my Dad.
   My biological father had left me the summer before. He wanted nothing to do with me. That cut deep. My Daddy was there to pick up the pieces. That was the first time I realized this guy was something special. I had grown up knowing him as my step-dad. Mark was his name. He was good to me. Treated me like he did my brother and sister and never once turned away from me. He fed me and gave me clothes and toys and books and writing supplies. He got a little upset with me at times. But I am getting sidetracked.
   It was about a year after I my biological father had deserted me. As far as I was concerned he was nothing to me and I had no dad. We were at a tractor pull that next summer and I don't know if he knows I heard this conversation or not but I did. He was talking to the president of our club and he was signing me up to become a member so that I could pull too. I was so excited that day to finally be able to "play with the big kids" and drive a tractor down the track. He walked up to Jared and I can still recall the words he had to say. " Hey Jared, I need to sign my daughter up so that she can pull today."
I just about fell off my tractor. He couldn't be talking about my little sister so it had to be. He just introduced me as his daughter. He claimed me as his own.
   Later that day I made a point to call him Dad every time I saw him or talked about him. People were confused at first but it didn't take long for word to spread. Mark Gabert was my Dad. I claimed him and he claimed me. We grew closer after that. I listened a little more intently as he worked on my tractor and he write a little more carefully when I brought him my latest poem to read. Now my Dad is not exactly a reader and he is certainly not a big fan of poetry but he always had a thoughtful comment to share when I came in and wanted him to read my latest masterpiece.
   My Dad works really hard to provide for us. I mean really hard. Six days a week he shows up to his job at the local slate quarry. He works hard after work to keep the house running and he works hard after that at our family friend's farm to put fresh meat on our table. My Daddy is a hero in my eyes. He goes above and beyond the call of duty. He is always there when I need him and although he is human and he has let me down a time or two he has always accepted me and loved me as his own.
   In case you haven't figured it out yet, I love my Daddy very much and I miss him even more when I am away. On this father's day, being 300 miles from my Daddy has been kinda difficult but know this. It changes nothing. Neither time nor distance can ever come between this little girl and her Daddy.

Daddy

My Daddy
Is a very special man
He is strong and brave
Kind and loving
My Daddy is an amazing man
My Daddy 
I don't know what to say about him
He is one of a  kind
One in a million
He is my Daddy
He was there 
when I skinned my knees
When I had a concert
When I was sad
When I was excited
He was proud of me
As I packed for college
He was disappointed
At times when 
I ignored his advice
He is my Daddy
I love him
And that is 
All that I have to say

Thank you Dad for being so amazing
For going above and beyond the call of duty
For being a Daddy to a daughter that wasn't even  your own

Friday, June 14, 2013

Come Clean

We have all heard it 
Time and time again
Whom the Son sets free
Is free indeed
Which means everyone is free
Right?
I thought so
Until I realized 
Just how messed up I was
Reading the Bible
Spending time in prayer
Morning devotionals
Conversations with friends
A theme was emerging
I was far from free
Struggling with deep rooted sin
It had me wrapped up
Trapped
And I couldn't do it on my own anymore
Whom the Son sets free
Is free indeed
On my knees
Late on summer night
I knew what needed to be done
Jesus had set me free
So why was I trapped
I wasn't
Not anymore
Come clean
Own it
Let Him take over
The truths comes and sets you free
Truth is key
Without being honest
With myself
With others 
With God
I could never be free
The hardest easy fix every
With His help
I have
Come clean

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Contrast

In my weakest moments
You are strong
My strength
In the midst of wild raging storms
You are the calm
My peace
It the middle of trouble and turmoil
You are constant, unchanging
You are my rock
When I am on shaky ground
Unsure, scared, alone
You are there
Always present
One question I have for you
Why?
Why do you do all this?
Why have you come and set me free?
Why have you declared victory?
Why rebuild and restore a broken heart?
Why?
It all seems clearer now
It's all because you love me
You
Love me
How can that be?

Desire

I wrote this one a few weeks back, while I was home with my family and am just getting around to posting it. Not sure why it took me so long to get this one up but here it is :)



When the excitement fades away
When you settle into that new routine
When you get all unpacked
When life goes back to semi-normal
You slip into that comfortable way you know so well
You say this is good
New relationships built on trust
Family time and dinner round the table
Business as usual
Yet I long for more
I long for my heavenly father
To spend my days with him
He is where I want to be
He is where I find home
He is my all in all
He is mine
My one desire

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

To Write

There is something about writing
About taking pen to paper
About just letting thoughts flow
Letting ideas bubble and grow
It starts with just one line
But soon the page is filled
With memories 
Moments to remember
Life lessons learned
It is something special
What a writer feels 
When the need to write
Fills their heart
You can't always conrtol it
You can almost never ignore it
It's the life of a writer
A splendid blessing
A gift from God
That holds me together

Trust

How do you know
When something you want to do
Is the right thing to do?
How do you know
When you are really tuned into God?
How do you know anything?
It is that still small voice
That gut feeling
The heart wrenching desire
The calm "I got this" feeling
The peace of knowing
It is all gonna be ok
There is no one way to know for sure
 You never can say 100% for sure this is right
Not unless God tells you so
How does he do that?
Good question
I am not entirely sure
It is different every time
You just have to trust him to speak to you
It all boils down to that
Trust