Walking into
Urbana I had no clue why I was going or what I was looking for, I only knew
that God wanted me there and had provided for me to be there so I was going. It
was one of the best decisions I ever made. God met me, taught me about myself,
taught me about himself, and taught me how he wanted to use me. It was an
experience that I will never forget, one that changed me more than I could have
ever imagined beforehand.
It was a rough week for me in a lot of
ways. I am not very good with crowds or cities, and that’s putting it mildly.
It was a challenge but it was well worth stepping outside my comfort zone to
see what God had for me throughout the week. Every day through worship,
seminars, prayer and discussion with friends, new and old, I learned more and
more about not only God but myself as well.
Some of the things God told me were pretty
predictable, that’s not to say I didn’t need to hear them, while others caught
me completely off guard. God reminded me that I need to be real. That it is ok
to not be ok and that showing my weaknesses doesn’t make me weak, it makes me
stronger because it is then that people can see me relying on my amazing God
for strength to get through those harder moments. This was big for me because
it means changing everything I have been doing up until now but I know that
this is how I should be living life, as myself!
That’s
another God showed me. He showed me who I am, what I am passionate about, where
I have been sinning and need to ask forgiveness, and where my life is going in
the future, both near and far. I always pictured my life as a simple,
non-eventful, go with the flow life. I wanted to go to college, get my degree
in education, teach in a nice quiet school district, and enjoy life as best I
could. God however, had other plans. He had given me a heart that breaks over
the tragedies of abuse and human trafficking, especially child trafficking and
he wants me to use my passion to teach to help these children. He is calling me
to long term mission after college, to help save these kids and give them hope,
show them love and give them an education so they have options and don’t have
to go back into the trafficking industry. I don’t know exactly what that looks
like yet but I am excited to find out.
Finally
God showed me a lot about who he is. How big, amazing, powerful, loving, and
all-encompassing he is. How much he loves me, how big hid plans are and really
what he is all about. I could type for days about all I learned in seminar,
worship and prayer but these are the highlights. These are the things that
shaped and changed me. These are the things I will never forget. These are the
things that made Urbana 12 worth every second of fear, anxiety, stress and
exhaustion. The great things God did while I was in St. Louis are too big for
words in many ways but there you have it. Urbana 12 in a nutshell.
