It's hard to imagine that after eight years of dreaming and imagining my future that it would take only six weeks to change all my plans. It's hard to accept that what I had thought was perfect for me in reality was never a possibility. It's hard to accept that God's plans are the perfect ones when they don't match up with mine. It's hard to change a lifetime of dreaming over night. It took a series of events, some smaller and some larger, it took a lot of prayer and seeking God, It took advice from people I know and love, it took seeing myself for who I am not who I wanted to be. It wasn't easy. It's still not easy. To accept that my future looks completely different than I ever though it would. I will never be a teacher in a class room. I will never have students of my own. Instead I will write, like I always have. I will follow my passion for people. I will speak Spanish and I will follow God. Not necessarily in that order but that's who I am in reality. I am a writer that loves English and loves Spanish almost as much. I am me and sometimes that can be hard for me to swallow, I am so busy trying to be the person I want to see I forget the person I am looking at in the mirror. But it is time to face the music. God made me who I am. Now it's time to be that person. A major in Creative Writing, a minor in Spanish Studies. I think that is the way to go. Still praying about it. Still a bit unsure. But in the end if this is not what God has for me he will show me just like he did this time. Except I am pretty sure this is where he wants me to go. Pretty sure. Change is hard, we all know that. This was a hard choice to make. Its not official yet. It will be by the end of the week, I think anyway. So much happening so fast. Praying for guidance and wisdom. Seeking God. Changing and changing some more.
