Stepping Stones

Each day I wake up is a day I am awed. I find it hard to believe I am still here, that I am breathing, walking, talking. Sometimes I have mixed emotions about this. Each day I wake up with struggles to face. Emotional, physical, mental, circumstantial, spiritual, relational. Each day brings a list of challenges and worries. Each challenge and worry a stepping stone. A chance to fall into the water or a chance to hop across the rocks and make it to the other side. As I work towards overcoming feelings and actions which are destructive and unhealthy I find some days are easier than others. I find that there are ways to handle thoughts and feeling that are constructive but I often find it much harder to turn to those things. I try to read and write and pray and sing but sometimes I find myself picking up a blade or pushing myself too hard to accomplish some unattainable goal or drinking or who knows what else.It is in that moment when I have to decide and I going to hop across or fall into the water? I am choosing more and more to hop across. For the next few months my blog is going to look a little different. It will probably be more raw, more uncensored and I am sorry if this bothers you but hey, I started counseling today! I am finally getting help to deal with, and face all the hurts. I am processing and praying and growing and I hope you will walk this walk with me. Pray with me. Grow with me. I look forward to this season, although I know it won't be easy as God heals and leads. Today I took a huge leap, not just a small step to the next stone but jumped to the next boulder. Change is coming... LET THE ADVENTURE BEGIN!