A Perfect Way

Sitting around on a rainy day reflecting. So many questions running through my head. So many thing I don't understand or comprehend. Why am I still here? What is the point? How did I make it this far? Who am I? So many things on  heart but that's what it all comes down to in the end. Things on my heart? Oooh my heart! The biggest thing running through my mind right now is why is my heart the way it is?? Why am I so sensitive? Why do things affect me the way they do? It is who I am and I don't understand it. I don't understand this connection I have with God, I don't understand how my emotions can be so entwined with my physical health, I don't understand myself and that drives me crazy! I think to myself that if I can understand it, ouI can wrap my mind around it even a little bit maybe just maybe I can finally get back to feeling like myself. maybe I can have lasting peace and true rest but even if I  did understand I am not entirely convinced that it would change anything. After all I am a chosen child of God, he created me just the way I am for a very specific purpose and so the questions why and how lose a bit of importance. I still wonder about myself though. Maybe it's not so intense now but I do wonder about life and myself. I imagine we all do from time to time. I take great peace in knowing God has it all under control though. At the end of the day God knows what he has done, is doing and what he will do and he only does things in a perfect way.