I recently found myself feeling the need to pray prayers that have scared me since I first became a Christian almost two years ago now. It seemed like I had been taking forever to learn the basics. Prayer, reading my bible, following Jesus. Simple right? Well it took me nine months to figure this out. You never master the basis. Never.
As I found myself growing and getting a grip on just what it means to give up every thing to follow Christ I realized the one thing I wanted most was a prayer away. I had given up my comfortable home, most of my possessions, left my family and moved to a strange place where I bounced from home to home living on the generosity of others and the provision of God alone. I was living simply. Looking for a job and spending time with God and I was growing fast but something was missing. Something big. I discovered that I was pretty focused on myself, with good right at that point. I had a lot going on being in the middle of yet another big move and changing churches and all but it was also bigger than just feeling selfish. I had a desire to get plugged in and to serve. It was burning and growing and I couldn't ignore it. Despite my insane situation I discovered living a life of faith meant not only trusting God to meet my needs but also reaching out to meet the needs of others.
So I did it. I sat down and I prayed that night. "God, you are sovereign and you have never left my side. You are faithful and you provide for me meeting all of my needs, never letting me go without. Lord, please. Break my heart for what breaks yours. Use me, lift me up to do your will, to serve others, to love on them as I have been loved, to bless them and meet needs in their lived. God, use me. USE ME!!"
I had no idea what that meant at the time. No clue but now, as I am settling in at my new home and really digging in and getting plugged in I am finding all sorts of ways to serve and love on others. From lending a listening ear to a shoulder to weep on. From laughing and joking with a good friend to praying with new ones. God has given me an opportunity to reach out and lift someone up and share his love with them just about every day. I didn't know what I was getting into as I packed to move to Potsdam 14 months ago. I didn't know what I was getting into when I officially became a local three months ago. I didn't know what I was facing, ever. I just went and did what I felt God leading me to do. Each step a step of faith as I prayed and asked God to lead me and give me wisdom to know his will. Each step bringing greater and bigger blessings and each step bringing me closer to him. I have no idea what the future holds but I know that as I walk with God and continue asking him to guide and use me it will be an amazing blessing and great adventure.
